Learning to shop all over again

Exhausted. I hate thinking about money, but it's nearly impossible to avoid. Lately when I start to get too wound up I make myself read a book so I can become distracted by something else. All I'm doing is worrying and that's not going to help. I know it'll work out fine, and I'm sick of feeling stressed and pressured.

I bought a new pair of work shoes on zappos.com the other day. Besides the fact that I love online shopping, I seriously was in need of an up-grade. If I don't have good support on my footsies, I'm gonna end up with a whole lot more of those ugly-ass spider veins. And my $20 Payless solution for work shoes are not getting the job done ne'mo. I can't believe they lasted as long as they did to begin with.

Honestly, for all the shopping potential that NYC holds, I don't find the idea of going out and shopping here that appealing because you have to travel from store to store. Like walk a couple blocks, mind the crazies and possible ride the bus/subway. And it's probably gonna be crowded. It's time like these I long for the mega-absolutely-enormous-malls of New Jersey.

But I made a list of what I will be accomplishing on my day off, and I'm most excited about getting a library card! I hope it's not too difficult. I have this feeling it is going to be just that. Only time will tell I suppose.

In other news, I think I've mastered the art of grocery shopping for myself. Let me tell you it was oddly harder than it should have been. I'm so use to living in a house where there are tons of mouths to feed. I learned grocery shopping from my mom and she was buying for a house full of mouths. But me, I'm just one person and I'm only eating at my apartment 2 days out of the week probably. So I decided to adopt a more "European" way of shopping if you will. If I have the day off and know I will be eating at home, I go to the store that day to buy whatever I will be able to ingest that one day. It sounds so idiotically simple, but honestly it took me a little while to figure it out, a couple moldy boxes of strawberries, 2 rotten peaches to be exact. Also, I blame the super market with their 3 for $5 deals and such. I think I'm getting a bargain but really I'm watching my money rot because I don't end up eating it all, those sneaky buggers.

Well in the words of the ever wise Alanis, you live, you learn, you adopt French habits. Ok that last part was my own addition, but you get the idea.

I want to speak French.

Correction: I want to speak French more often. I was just reminded of how beautiful it sounds coming out of your mouth. Plus I feel like an idiot knowing only one language at the restaurant I work at. You'd think I was in the United Nations with all the languages I hear spoken everyday. But I'm not, I just work next to this hotel that apparently is all the rage all over Europe because those seem to be the only people who stay there. And most of them haven't caught on to the whole tipping your waiter more than 10% thing. Lucky for me.

I'm tired of being jealous of all those beautiful sounding, svelte beret heads, I'm going to be well rounded dammit. I heard of this website where you can video chat with someone and practice a foreign language. But I am sure to get lost in the ocean of google trying to find it. In the mean time I'll watch french movies online and use my imagination. Cue cravings for a pain au chocolat.

Well rounded-ness is bound to make me fat.

This old thing?

I became very busy after my last blog post to say the least.

Cliff Notes version: Got a job, kept auditioning, taking classes, signed lease on apartment, was just cast in my first production in New York.

Nothing to phone home about really, it's a non-paying one act about high schoolers auditioning for A Chorus Line, which I think is hilarious, and it's nice to be working on something and quell my fears that I will never ever be in a real show again. For now.

July was hectic, August is already starting to feel more soothing. Starting off with a nice relaxing day with my sister. I'm so lucky to live near to my family. I like to think I could handle total and complete independence thousands of miles away from home just fine, but it really helps to have the fam near by.

I still have tons of random tid-bits that need to get done. In the midst of all my tid-bits though, I seriously need to brush up on my French. I always hear people speaking it in the restaurant and it makes me want to speak with them, but I lack so much confidence in that department. It's time for more change and confidence and inspiration.

I picked up backstage the other day and there were all these books that the Drama Book Shop said were really inspiring for actors -- must reads, so I walk in and I'm like where can I find these books and they're like: Oh these books? They're out of print. Ok well that was helpful. I'm so glad I took the time to read this article. Great. Moving on to more positive things, I'm all registered for One on One, now I just need the savings to pay for me to meet all these wonderful directors and casting directors and agents.

I'm thinking August will be my saving-up-for-things month. Great choice since nearly everyone in Manhattan goes on vacation in August and therefore will not be eating at my restaurant and therefore will not be tipping me.

Ok so how about September instead... everyone reluctantly coming back to live in their overcrowded city and paying me some monies. Yes, I think that's a better idea.

I swear I will write more than once every 4 months. It's for my peace of mind, therapy... or to make my self think I'm important. Does it really matter why I do it? It's not like anyone reads this thing.