I can't believe the summer is over. I know, people say this every year around the last week of August. It always goes so quickly especially when you're enjoying yourself. I was definitely enjoying myself in the Berkshires. I actually feel renewed coming back into the city. I didn't think I was going to feel that way when I was leaving nyc to work in Pittsfield, MA where Barrington Stage Company is, so you can imagine my surprise when I feel like I can't wait to hit the ground running when I'm officially moved back into my apartment.

Today getting off the bus at Port Authority it was good to meet up with a friendly face. Getting lunch in that area I could sense a group of people around me who were my competition, talking about what audition they were coming from toting their audition back pack-ready to quick change into a dress and heels and belt out a 16 bar uptempo in the blink of an eye.

I immediately felt this dread of: oh great now I'm in a huge pool of girls just like me again, how am I going to stand out from the crowd, how can I get myself to wake up every morning to get rejected and wait in a room with all these beautiful talented girls which I can't help but compare myself to. Then I told myself to stop. Live in the moment, you're having lunch with your friend, enjoy that time. Don't think negatively, it will get you nowhere fast. It's easier said than done, but it helped. The more I focus on myself the easier it is to not be concerned with what everyone else is doing. That sounds horrible though. I don't want to turn into someone who is completely self involved. Yet, if I want to be an actor, I don't know if I have a choice.

This week I'm on vacation as far as I'm concerned. I don't start this new phase of my life: back in nyc and better than ever, until after Sept. 1. So for now I'm focused on what's on tv and what's for lunch. After that I'll get back to what's there to audition for.